New Age Seatbelt

One Liners

Ø When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Ø Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

Ø Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'

Ø I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Ø Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Ø I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.

Ø The road to success is always under construction.

Ø I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!

Ø Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Ø Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.

Ø When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ø Born free; Taxed to death.

Ø Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.

Ø Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Ø Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Ø I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

Ø A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

Ø The hardest part of skating is the ice.

Ø The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

Ø The trouble with being punctual is that there's no one there to appreciate it.

Ø If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?

Ø If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.

Ø Beat the 5 O'clock rush: leave work at noon!

Ø If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Ø It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

Ø I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Ø Hot glass looks same as cold glass. (Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers)

Ø Someday is not a day of the week

Put a Shark in your Fish Tank

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish.

If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste. To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin.

After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem?

How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?

If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend? As soon as you reach your goals, such as finding a wonderful mate, starting a successful company, paying off your debts or whatever, you might lose your passion. You don't need to work so hard so you relax. You experience the same problem as lottery winners who waste their money, wealthy heirs who never grow up and bored homemakers who get addicted to prescription drugs. Like the Japanese fish problem, the best solution is simple.

It was observed by L. Ron Hubbard in the early 1950's. "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."- L. Ron Hubbard

The Benefits of a Challenge:

The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a good problem. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are happy. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!

How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:

To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

Recommendations:

Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Beat the heck out of them. Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help.
If you have met your goals, set some bigger goals. Once you meet your personal or family needs, move onto goals for your group, the society, even mankind. Don't create success and lie in it.
You have resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

Gems from Jim Rohn

1. Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.
2. Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event.
3. You don'tfail overnight. Instead, failure is a few errors injudgment, repeated every day.
4. Don't take the casual approach to life. Casualness leads to casualties.
5. Success is the study of the obvious. Everyone shouldtake Obvious I and Obvious II in school.
6. It's too bad failures don't give seminars. Wouldn'tthat be valuable?
7. If you meet a guy who has messed up his life for forty years, you've just got to say,"John, if I bring my journal and promise to take goodnotes, would you spend a day with me?"
8. Success is not so much what we have as it is what we are.Success is 20% skills and 80% strategy.
9. You might know how to read, but more importantly, what's your plan to read?
10. Average people look for ways of getting away with it;successful people look for ways of getting on with it.
11. You cannot take the mild approach to the weeds in your mental garden. You have got to hate weeds enough to kill them.
12. Weeds are not something you handle; weeds are something you devastate.
13. Humility is a virtue; timidity is a disease.
14. Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80%how you feel about what you know.
15. What is powerful is when what you say is just the tip of the iceberg of what you know.
16. If you spend five minutes complaining, you have just wasted five minutes. If you continue complaining, itwon't be long before they haul you out to a financialdesert and there let you choke on the dust of your own regret.
17. Do preserve yourself and others while evolving continuously...

Murphy's Tech Laws

• Murphy's Technology Law #1:You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
• Murphy's Technology Law #2:Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
• Murphy's Technology Law #3:Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
  Murphy's Technology Law #4:If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
• Murphy's Technology Law #5:An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing.
• Murphy's Technology Law #6:Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure.
• Murphy's Technology Law #7:All great discoveries are made by mistake.
• Murphy's Technology Law #8:Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
• Murphy's Technology Law #9:All's well that ends... period.
• Murphy's Technology Law #10:A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
• Murphy's Technology Law #11:The first myth of management is that it exists.
• Murphy's Technology Law #12:A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.
• Murphy's Technology Law #13:New systems generate new problems.
• Murphy's Technology Law #14:To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
• Murphy's Technology Law #15:We don't know one-millionth of one percent about anything.
• Murphy's Technology Law #16:Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
• Murphy's Technology Law #17:A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.